Post by Shelby on Mar 12, 2022 1:41:15 GMT
She shouldn't be upset about it; she shouldn't be upset with Arthur about his comment, but dammit if him mentioning the mirrors didn't bring up her insecurities! Chardonnay didn't even begin to think that him mentioning those mirror might have been a reflection on his own thoughts and insecurities and instead just thought that he wanted to complain about her luxuries. She wanted to bite back that Susan and Adelaide probably weren't complaining about anything; that they were actually probably enjoying their time here.
At least someone was...
It was a thought that made Chardonnay gulp as she looked at herself in the mirror ahead of her. There were bags under her eyes from the long day. Her face looked more round than it should have. Even her own hair didn't look right sitting on her head right then. She hated this; hated that she wasn't enjoying any of these. Being at her parents' house was supposed to be a joy; it normally was! Maybe the traveling sucked, but being in her childhood home, being around her parents, always put her in a better mood. It was always something that she looked forward to no matter what.
Why was she so worried about these next couple of weeks here. She was slowly beginning to realize that things were never going to be the same again. After this holiday, the next year... It was going to be so different, no matter what. And she didn't know how to feel about that.
But then that guilt started to arise in Chardonnay. How could she feel this way when she was supposed to be trying? Why was she trying to push Arthur away now, when she promised him, when she hadn't been lying back at the hospital. She did want to try, because she did feel something.
She just didn't really know how to try.
As Arthur silently put her things on the vanity, Chardonnay wordlessly washed her face and brushed her teeth. Afterwards she headed back into her bedroom where she pulled out her pajamas that were just some comfortable sweats--because like hell was she going to wear a nightgown with this stomach--but before she was able to get her clothes off Arthur came from the bathroom, and Chardonnay was reminded that she wasn't alone in her room.
She stopped from taking her shirt off and watched him as he started unbuttoning his shirt, and she thought that he was lucky then. Lucky that his body wasn't changing. Lucky that he was still attractive when she couldn't find anything attractive about herself anymore. Unconsciously she hugged herself and pursed her lips as she looked at him, just staring at his comment until she shook her head and reached her hand out. "I have one in the closet. It's back through the bathroom. I'll take it back there." Because there was no way she was going to change in front of him, just like she had been avoiding the past couple of weeks.
At least someone was...
It was a thought that made Chardonnay gulp as she looked at herself in the mirror ahead of her. There were bags under her eyes from the long day. Her face looked more round than it should have. Even her own hair didn't look right sitting on her head right then. She hated this; hated that she wasn't enjoying any of these. Being at her parents' house was supposed to be a joy; it normally was! Maybe the traveling sucked, but being in her childhood home, being around her parents, always put her in a better mood. It was always something that she looked forward to no matter what.
Why was she so worried about these next couple of weeks here. She was slowly beginning to realize that things were never going to be the same again. After this holiday, the next year... It was going to be so different, no matter what. And she didn't know how to feel about that.
But then that guilt started to arise in Chardonnay. How could she feel this way when she was supposed to be trying? Why was she trying to push Arthur away now, when she promised him, when she hadn't been lying back at the hospital. She did want to try, because she did feel something.
She just didn't really know how to try.
As Arthur silently put her things on the vanity, Chardonnay wordlessly washed her face and brushed her teeth. Afterwards she headed back into her bedroom where she pulled out her pajamas that were just some comfortable sweats--because like hell was she going to wear a nightgown with this stomach--but before she was able to get her clothes off Arthur came from the bathroom, and Chardonnay was reminded that she wasn't alone in her room.
She stopped from taking her shirt off and watched him as he started unbuttoning his shirt, and she thought that he was lucky then. Lucky that his body wasn't changing. Lucky that he was still attractive when she couldn't find anything attractive about herself anymore. Unconsciously she hugged herself and pursed her lips as she looked at him, just staring at his comment until she shook her head and reached her hand out. "I have one in the closet. It's back through the bathroom. I'll take it back there." Because there was no way she was going to change in front of him, just like she had been avoiding the past couple of weeks.